On The Wall

cross-validare

2012-01-28T17:05:00.000-08:00

in a world of perfectly equal possibilities we are all perfectly equal possibilities, perfectly equal to chose or to not chose, to be chosen or not chosen

in this world the choice of x over y is no more than the choice of y over z or of x over z

the combinations are as many as there are living bodies or living personalities within these bodies

so the only difference in choosing one over the other resides in that that one isn’t the other just as the other isn’t the other one

so the sum of differences would be equal to 0 in such a way that choosing becomes more a matter of personal preference and availability or approachability

and whom ever tries to disprove this simple observation usually finds himself in front of a stone wall that cant be nor broken into nor over-passed

a conational of mine named it the not to be explained mystery

he considered it would rip some of life s potentiality

but

as scientists

we are doomed to equations and solutions

where X Y AND Z in any constellation must provide valid results

therefore the choice belongs to the white monkey that perceives the rise from the four legged condition as illumination

only to welcome its automatisms and natural delays in thinking as biped foundations

and so we must ask on which criteria precisely would or could be judged

what is, what is not and the forever what if, could it

unfortunately, WE are too often mesmerized by delusions of one type or another to see clearly what comes from underneath

it is plain

as you wonder your choice, some of your choices already belong to someone else

more even, some of your choices aren’t even your own because they are entitled to choices of their own and this is what they usually call free will

perfectly free by the perfectly equal nature of choice

another point in this discussion would be that of the demand

when all equals all and the importance goes as far as the chooser allows it to go

then how do you explain to the tiny being that perceives oneself as unique that they all are

and that onenesses nullify each other

we must be unique, necessary, interesting and without a doubt unlivable without

how did this story begin

from the filling of empty time

it happens in short moments of empty time that we question what the others are thinking

and a deeply I-sh part of us would like them to think about us, to be the central element of their existence, the cornerstone, the one and the only one

while there are so many

why one and not the other

‘tis one question we have been asking since the beginning of time

instead of perhaps turning the point against itself and asking why not

some crave for answer and validation of the one and only story, narcissism if you may or the profound doubt that if not x than y

then the cynicism

but we survived so for so long

until the choice shifted indeed from one to x z or another

or is it one now

some don’t admit usually what some don’t understand

what hasn’t quantity and cannot be touched with the hands or eyes

and the need for proof

but in which form and how much in order to accept the choice

or just plain straightforwardness which would be even odder because we are not accustomed to it .

man be thy name and doubting be thy stone

even in the mischievous form of a woman

the promise

2012-01-11T09:05:00.001-08:00

my soul belongs to me but sometimes I lose my heart on the other side of the sleeve

lie to me don’t lie to me love me love me not

there was no weeping going around since the day she decided

to walk the earth round with the speed of time and turn back the momentum

wipe the tear before it’s settled down and choose my dimension

from all the gives and takes in the world how much to pull the line before there’s no more space behind it

not even for the canvas, for paint that revives in the making of the sweet surrender yet sweet approval

yet from where I’m standing language is a bit blind

still hear me internally

back forward answer

love

do you still

however

you know I’m crazy I never give up

they’ll be painting my face on the wall and throw virtual realities at it

I never give up

Maybe I’m made of iron and I am iron women

Maybe at one point I hated so much that I forced myself to love

Or maybe it’s just you love

But how can I deny

that

one inch away that string starts the song forgotten all over again and I hurt and smile in the same time

don’t see me with some blackened eyes

but do a gesture move some time or at least pretend to

sometimes

as harshly as I judge

I am not the one without faith

azi – maine

2012-01-10T23:59:00.001-08:00

Ziua in care am murit adica cliseic maine

s-a terminat dupa ce a inceput de fapt la o oarecare vreme dupa

Pentru ca nu vreau azi sa mint in liniste voi striga

Cerule

Cer acel strop de magie inapoi si-l dau cu dobanda

Nu, promit sa nu-l las zestre la nepoti m-am lamurit cu treaba asta de cand cu mama

Stiu ca daca nu sunt in sifonier le voi gasi dar relatia noastra double bind m-a ranit

Mama mutter un porc o vaca sunt si vor ramane vesnic animale de companie pentru unii

Si hrana pentru suflet

Sunt ceea ce visez iar din cand in cand beau apa ca sa nu mor de inanitie

Iar eu spre deosebire de copiii din africa n-am nicio scuza

Un peste din ocean m-au aruncat mai spune si tu ceva nu sunt in mediul meu dar daca astepti putin pot gasi o explicatie si pentru asta

Immer and forever bule de acid carbogazos altfel m-ar tine la aparate

Un junghi intre coaste ce straniu parca scapasem de ficat

Este centrul existentei mele va fi demult uitat

Dar in pretimpul ce a trecut de la inceput pana cand va voi spune povestea asta

Mai ramane ceva atarnat de tavan si anume un rasu adica

Pe intelesul tau

mi-am castigat mana cinstit role the dice love and have your say

daca pun o clepsidra pe tavan cum curge timpul spre mine sau spre tine ? daca te vad din coltul usii dintr-o parte de unde stiu ca cealalta parte e tot a ta de unde stiu unde se ascunde

vreau sa dorm am ascultat destul

am vorbit in gand

am sarit de pe poduri m-am inecat si rasculat si nimicit rani dintre timpi morti

iar azi cu desavarsire asta insemnand implinire e maine

deci visit me at my funeral and dance november rain

holy

deci cerule

azi – maine ?

transcripts; slits part I

2012-01-10T23:56:00.001-08:00

The very act of

measuring or observing which slit it went throw ment it only went throw one not both

what is matter marbles or waves and waves of what and what does the observer have to do with this

it's like the neutron decided to act differently as if it would know it was watched

it seemed like the observer collapsed the wave function simply through watching

any kind of measuring device no matter how small interacted with the neutron subsequently collapsing the wave

nocturna/matinala

2012-01-09T18:35:00.001-08:00

dimensiuni

fara sa verb

craca de la etaj

zzzzz boruri largi

ocheade desucheate

ne lamuriri

disipare dizolvare

negredo albedo

inclin

asociationism

bomboane de ciocolata

alta data

rime making

atemporalitate si conjunctie

conjunctio oppositorum de la cer la apa pana-n pamant si dedesubt pana-n pom si de la inceput cu halat nou antiploaie pentru umbra impotriva dimpotriva vraci cu glas

vindec

razbatere final

barca prastie tinta lumina si iara mal uscat senin zzz boruri amin

scurt

2012-01-08T18:02:00.000-08:00

Cam asta cu scurtele momente de magie

Inapoi la munca la sapa la arsita

Mai da o dusca de tuica sa ma incalzesc dinauntru spre afara

Si suflu in lumanare nu impart cartile azi

m-am resemnat ii las pe altii sa le faca si eu doar joc

din cand in cand toti trisam desi ne intoarcem spatele si ne negam facticitatea

expresia e in sine de prisos daca nu stii sa dai perdeaua sa-mi auzi strings cantand singure

de liniste

si frica? Si arborii pe campii si visul din bratele deshamate

un strop de lumina o mie de lire de lire reale sa cante la inmormantarea ingerului si nasterea femeii din fiecare

revolta-te impotriva a ce stiai inainte sa se revolte impotriva ta si striga din toti rarunchii este!

Este

Sunt suntem

Eram

Erati

Sunt

A fi

Cuget

Pe din doua pe carari nebanuite decat noua

Viata din sange cu tumult.

s-c-e-p-t-i-c a

2012-01-07T17:35:00.000-08:00

Nu cred in multe lucruri

Si chiar cele in care cred sunt sub semnul intrebarii

De ce nu rad de ce nu imi sterg lacrimile

Poate ca sunt de la frig

De ce am fiori pe spate si cum poate sa-mi fie frica acum cand sunt atat de libera

De ce nu pot sa astept si vreau mereu sa ard timpul

Sa fiu inaintea momentulu daca se poate sa fiu prematur

Sa cresc intr-o zi cat altii intr-o noapte

Nu as mai dormi sau respira sau vorbi sau tacea

As sta si as astepta fara rabdare sa vina ziua cand am murit ca sa ma nasc

sin-cron

2011-12-20T14:34:00.000-08:00

Nonlocatie

Pe principiul niciunde

Decat cand

Iar asta n-are treaba cu ce n-a fost inca

Are treaba cu ce n-a fost dar a fost

Caci ce a fost n-a fost

Iar ce va fi

Este

Dupa ce noi vom fi fost

Caci eram

Sa nu fim

est mater studiorum

2011-12-20T14:33:00.000-08:00

Repetitiv

Pana in punctul in care

Circular

Cand n-a fost pamant a fost suflu

Iar de niciunde a inghitit apa

Fara a ma ineca in ce-ar mai fi

Daca n-ar mai fi

Repetitiv

Pana la un punct

In care

Suflu de trei ori

Si-n loc sa ma invart in loc

Merg

he

2011-12-20T14:30:00.000-08:00

I come alive by night

Usually when people nightmare

Usually when you’re supposed to confront your fears

You don’t

We’ve gotta keep that child inside

But let us not pretend

As that commercial goes

Innocence was so long ago father

Don’t refuse to see me through the eyes of a stranger

There is no perfect weapon to turn back time

I’m more than a collection of old songs gone by

Some stuff happened

Now and then

Stuff, what do you mean what kind of

Just stuff

It’s okay, you weren’t there

This here is my rock

Not that heavy

Can do with a shoulder from in and some from without

I’ve always had them to cry on

To lean to touch to jump to hold me if i jump to high

Come on kid come

Back

There will come that day

And that dream that was dreamed

And that you hadn’t the courtesy of knowing

Made in Me

That dream is still

That dream breathes

In the pangs of reality

It eats me inside

I eat it

I come alive

Yes i

Still i

But another

she

2011-12-20T14:22:00.000-08:00

We’re supposed to be but one in different bodies raging through a dimension

I have come to realize that I no longer am in need of your surrender

I have my own line to track

And sand that will not be washed away by many winds

For the love of someone else

Within without

Never had yours, don’t need it never had

I can sing my songs at midnight

And wisper silently with the wind to the wind

That the bow is over

We rest our shoulders

And give you back the bag

That we needn’t carry

For ‘tis not our own

But I shall keep them in my bones

The ones that were before you

Within you within me

For the ones that forget are forgotten

And the night only begins

When the day fails to say

I have belonged

I shall move on

No look behind

No shuttered eyes

No cries

No yesterdays

Yes I

heart of the matter

2011-12-08T12:06:00.001-08:00

Let's get to the heart of the matter
only to find it
alone and confused
unwilling to say yes or no
not even maybe
forgotten
and most of all
this might sound odd
amused

Centric

2011-12-08T11:07:00.000-08:00

Radiant inspre

Iese din ca sa fie in

Cand nu mai este in

Nu este afara

Este in afara

Dar nu e suficient sa plangi

Sa intrebi sau sa te intrebi

Necesitatea e de mana a doua

Devine de folos

Cand intri sa faci bilantul

Altfel n-ai de unde porni cand te intorci

Si da, te vei intoarce.

tamaduire

2011-12-07T00:56:00.000-08:00

am pus capacul
si lantul peste
si cheia
si zavorul
si alt lacat
un brat de lemn
alta cheie
si alt lacat
pana la ultimul
am plans in fata geamului cu gratii
mi-am peticit genunchii
am mai tipat o data
mi-am bagat mainile in buzunare
si am plecat

lux inutil

2011-12-07T00:52:00.000-08:00

am plecat de dimineata
sa am timp sa intarzii
in pom spanzurau mai multe constiinte
pe o craca era si a mea
in camera cealalta se tacea malc
drept dovada ca acolo nu vorbea nimeni
nici inauntru nici inafara
am sters-o putin de praf
mi-am agatat-o de gat
suna cam ruginit cand merg dar macar suna
nici sa razi nu mai poti fara sa te uiti la ceas sa vezi
daca e momentul potrivit
ne inghesuim unii in altii
ne ascultam bataile ceasului
e defect sau e prea scump si nu si-l permit
lux inutil

ne-urmari

2011-12-07T00:47:00.000-08:00

nimeni n-a plans atunci
vi s-a parut
nimeni nu-si ferea privirea
si cu siguranta ca nimeni
nu facea semne disperate pe pleoapele de jos
din precautie
nu
atunci s-a plecat si atat
sinele alea s-au pus in miscare
cineva poate ca a ramas in spatele lor
c-un sac
mai mic mai mare nu se stie
apoi totul a urmat precum se urmeaza
de cand e lumea
si nu exista nici acum
semne lasate pe undeva
sau imbratisari de ganduri
nu
memoria e labartata
nu poate condensa ca o placinta
toata crema
desi are acelasi gust

sine

2011-12-06T05:20:00.000-08:00

ultima tigara
de dinaintea trenului de dimineata
de pe peronul
aici ne lasam visele noastre toate
si tot aici le gasim
cand ne intoarcem
din timp
noroiul talpilor de ieri
zambetul surd
mereu surd
periile de sarma cu care
ne scarpinam pe spate
neputinta de a spune nu
certitudinii
doi greieri verzi
in salt usor
stanga dreapta
dreapta-n stanga
doua maini intr-una
ochiul fara pleoape

de trei ori

2011-12-06T05:13:00.000-08:00

de trei ori in soapta
mi-am suflat in ureche
si nu era nimic
nimic nu era
am tacut
m-am asezat cu spatele
m-am batut pe umar
am tresarit
nimic nu era
m-am aplecat
am dat mana
cu furnicile din parchet
m-am imbratisat
am sarit ca ars
nimic nu era
am strabatut parchetul
am strivit furnicile
am lasat urme de talpi
fara talpi
am batut la usa
am deschis
eu eram.

innobilare

2011-12-06T05:08:00.000-08:00

inainte ca focul sa arda
inaintea urmelor de pasi
pe plaja fara picioare
nici macar de melc
venind talpilor pe dinainte
incat intai fumega
si apoi ca o luntre
peste clipe
ingenuncheaza
saruta flacara
nu cade lacrima
n-am cruce

anapoda

2011-12-06T05:04:00.000-08:00

incerc sa tin pasul
prea noapte
sa vad limbile ceasului
prea scurte
ma rasucesc ma intorc
ma afund
luptam impotriva legilor
si castigam
facem trei pasi in maini
si suntem deja departe

economie

2011-12-06T05:01:00.000-08:00

bilantul cuvintelor necunoscute
cu minutele
suma de rasuflari vandute pe suspine
cancerul furisat
pe piele
cu maner
am apucat
am tras
sunt gol
inveliti-ma si dati-mi un drum
drumul

N-a fost nimic

2011-12-06T04:19:00.000-08:00

batea cineva in perete
mi s-a parut
imi batea in stern
n-am auzit
parca un flash prin fata ochilor
n-a fost nimic
si o urma ca o brazda lasata pe timp
n-a fost nimic
in pestera mea
ma jucam ca mereu cu hartiile altora
incercand sa le dau de capat
sa imi gasesc sufletul in cifre sporadice
in ideile de devenire ale stampilei
si cand mi-am dat seama
le-am aruncat
sa se aprinda mai tare
focul
sa vad fetele de pe perete
s-aud bataile dintre coaste
sa respir surd
sa merg pe drumul meu
chiar daca nu e cel mai corect dintre toate.